Things For Children From 1998-2004 For Which Guy Fieri Is The Last Cultural Representative

• Smash Mouth
• Particularly Astro Lounge
• Shrek
• Smash Mouth and Shrek, in many ways, do not exist without each other.
• Gogurt
• Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
• Johnny Tsunami
• Rocket Power
• Are the previous 3 things the same thing? Are all of these things the same thing?
• Joey Fatone
• Alternate Theories: Is Guy Fieri actually Joey Fatone? Is Guy Fieri a creation of Jive Records? Is he a person constructed to be so similar to Joey Fatone as to constantly remind people of N*SYNC in a bold attempt to continue to generate royalties from No Strings Attached?
• This is possibly true
• Shirts with flames on them that are kind of like Hawaiian shirts, but they have flames on them instead of flowers and stuff
• I pretty easily found a photo of him wearing one
• The Burger King Kid's Club
• Sugar Ray
• Is Sugar Ray the same as Smash Mouth? Does that make them the same as Shrek? Is all of pop culture a dense web?
• The commercial for the Monster Ballads CD set
• not necessarily for children, but incessantly featured in between television shows for children

I can't decide whether or not he is representative of frosted tips or simply has frosted tips or both.

Please add more if you can think of them.

Hello, Tao Lin, and the Vanquisher 2.0

Hello

Hello to anyone who may be reading. I've been thinking about starting a blog for awhile. I've been thinking about a lot of stuff. I want a space to share brain content. I think that other spaces on the internet -- Twitter, Facebook -- are tied to vague ideas of FRIENDSHIP and SELF-PROMOTION which makes sharing ideas on them seem weird, to me. That being said, I think I might link my blog on Facebook so I can actually have people read it. After I post this first one, the blog will be a separate entity from my other internet outlets!

My name is Matt. I'm a 19 yr old college student. This is a photo of me circa May 2014. I demonstrate with my right hand that I like peace and with my left that I like coffee. I don't know a whole lot about the symbol on my shirt, but I think it importantly stresses that I am CHILL.

The Vanquisher 2.0

I thought that I didn't have a lot of TIME during the school year. During the summer I've had a lot of it. In my life, TIME almost always equals personal PROJECTS. This blog is a PROJECT, for example, in communicating my ideas. Recently I've been into the idea of learning and exercising. I swam two times and decided that it would be a good idea to buy some goggles. PROJECTS always require a lot of initial capital that often goes unused.

After a short trip to the store, I finally stood before the wall of goggles, I came to the realization that I really don't know anything about goggles. The prices ranged from about $10-$20. I found myself to be suspicious of both the most expensive and least expensive pairs, an idea that I thought was a funny emotional response to capitalism. I was having a nice conversation with a good friend of mine named Nina who is in China this summer and I shared this idea with her. She confirmed that this was an emotional response to capitalism that she has felt too.

In response to my suspicions, I bought a pair that cost $16. I mentioned to Nina that these goggles were called Vanquisher 2.0. I said, "Presumably they've worked out the kinks," because I thought the idea of a Vanquisher 1.0 being a beta version to these goggles was really funny. "2.0 could mean anything!!" she wrote back, "maybe they had a 1.6.8 and a 1.6.9, or maybe just a 1.0 then 2.0." She concluded that the whole things seems like a gimmick and further that LANGUAGE IS TOO GIMMICKY.

Tao Lin

This was a thrilling conversation for someone who has been reading a lot of Tao Lin recently. Nina reads a lot of Tao Lin and actually sent me the first stuff of his that I ever read. That article, How to Butter a Sizzling Hot Ass Steak, is a hilarious examination of the meaninglessness of convention by explaining a ridiculous, Lin-created convention. You should read it so I won't say too much stuff about it.

The two foundations of Lin's style, in my estimation, are absurdity and sincerity. Lin is always weary of how convention and common thought seem ridiculous. His work is filled with non-sequiturs as a reflection of the INHERENT ABSURDITY of all that is human constructed. His recognition of our absurd state results too in suspicion of the pitfalls FLOWERY LANGUAGE causing him to write in a fashion that is both exacting and direct. This is a powerful style.

Conclusions

• Reading a lot of Lin's stuff has had me thinking that language is, as Nina said, too GIMMICKY.
•  Does being called the Vanquisher 2.0 highlight any qualities of the goggles? 
• No
• Does it make much sense at all? 
• Not particularly
• Does it make someone want to buy them more? 
• Maybe. 2.0 does suggest improvement that I think I responded to
• Does the name make me feel kinda weird?
• Yes.
• Is this what cause LATE CAPITALIST ALIENATION?
• Maybe
• This one example doesn't rigorously demonstrate that language is too gimmicky. Let's assume, however, that you and I both have a long string of evidence in our lives that suggests that language is too gimmicky -- or even that it is just kinda gimmicky. 
• How might we respond to this gimmickyness?
• Be as direct and sincere as possible
• Allow our own language to absorb and reflect this gimmickyness, championing our reality
• Something in between
• Can we attach an evaluative judgment to gimmickyness of language? 
• Yes.
• It's good: Gimmickyness is a result of verve! The world in which goggles are called the Vanquisher 2.0 is more exciting and artistic
• It's bad: Gimmickyness in language defeats its ability to result in truth!
• No.
• It is an interesting trend that we observe and adapt to
• Is the gimmickyness of language a result of capitalism? Is our language wonky because it is bought?
• I think it might be a big part of it! I would love to discuss that.

Thank you to anyone who read my first post! Respond if you are interested in talking about any of this.